Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Is it possible to be in-love with lust itself?

Oh lust, a past time favorite, many heart throbbed moments over the euphoric changes in chemical constituency that make up sweet, delicious, irresistible lust. Just the word on its own is insatiably sexy. Prompting a slight variable in heart rate. Go ahead, let it slither off your tongue. Sounds nice, doesn't it?

When that intoxicating desire is overflowing in the early days of a relationship, all is right in the world. She's perfect for me, full of vivacious surprises, reminding me of my youth, redefining the word chemistry, knowing my every thought before hand, kissing my wounds and touching the very essence of my soul. The unity as we coalesce into one body in perfect unison, she is my Venus, voluptuous yet so innocent, intelligible yet a real freak. Sound familiar guys, how about this one ladies? He's perfect. His laugh is infectious, the sex amazing and everything he says is magical. Even his obsessive love of sports and the way he leaves his socks scattered about his house is adorable. Well welcome to lust. An all time favorite but unfortunately, for the lust-addicted, it's also ephemeral. So temporary and delicate, these sensational libido-crazed days will inevitably slip through your fingers. All at once you feel her spoontenuity has turned into insecurity and her preomonition into nagging. Then, quite suddenly, you're noticing that his dirty sock trail is actually kind of stinky, that your sex life has taken a dip in favor of the soccer game.

What's happening here? Well in economics it is called the elasticity of demand. After eating one sandwich you may want another, after two ya sure, maybe just one more but after the third, your rubber band is fully stretched out and you become completely saturated. In other words if you measure it by love standards then you are led to believe that Cupid's potent chemicals are wearing off. Now, don't panic just yet and get shit faced over it. There might still be hope cuz a lot of true love relationships started out the same way. Romantic relationships can be broken down into three phases, with each one offering up its own special concoction of chemicals. Not surprising then that the sex-around-the-clock Lust stage is overrun with testosterone and estrogen, a thrilling concoction that keeps you and your flame stuck together like glue and in an initial daze.

So try and learn how to differntiate between the glossy fantasy and creating a lasting relationship. Lust is a common novelty that can only last a few months to maybe a year at most, but identify that and don't get thrown into a rut, looking to fill voids in your persona to compensate for old scars. Many a time both parties fall snuggly into this dilema. Regardless, we all fall in love with lust the very moment we experience its overwhelming God given pleasure and intensity.

Round two, known as the Romantic Love or Attraction phase. Here, the chemicals dopamine (also triggered by cocaine to give you an idea of the high you're on); norepinephrine, also known as adrenaline, and serotonin come rushing in. Talk about an intense rush. It's a time easily identifiable by the fact you're feeling doped up. In fact, its obsessive power can cause you to forget about everything else because, let's face it, who cares about your to-do list when you could be snuggled up together? But, do all good things come to an end?

For real love to kick in, the following must take place. Here, the powerful bonding chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin get released. Personally, they produce a good feeling, although a very serious one, don't try to compare it to the lust days. It results in more practical sentences, such as, "Whats for dinner?" start replacing the more impractical approach of wolfing down just enough grub to energize you for another round in the sack. Why can't we just float around in Cupid's sparkly love dust forever underneath the missile toe and pink clouds galore? Well because a relationship is always a work in progress. It's called evolution, relationships that don't change and adopt to their collective environment become extinct. Case closed. That means sitting down and discussing everything from work, family to their relationship five times a week, besides praying five times a day if you are trying to become devout Muslims together. Fearing for the well being of your soul mate in this life as well as the next. No pain no gain right. Yet it's definitely worth the effort. There is a great comfort in knowing you're not together because of lust alone at this point, welcome to phase three.

When there are little ups and downs -- and big ups and downs -- we have history, we've got faith, and we have a commitment to each other ... it's rewarding having someone we feel intimately understands us. So make sure you take all the above into consideration in order to make the best of what you have on your plate right now. There is a difference as you can see between love and lust and even being in love with lust itself.

This post is dedicated to all those going through the different stages of infatuation, whether on the true path to real love or just in the midst's of being in love with the idea itself.

3 comments:

lust said...

; )

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm.

Twosret

P.S. sorry forgot my blogger login :)

Tinkerbell. said...

I usually get bored reading blog posts about relationships but I fully read this one. Good one.